Wrapper: Cuban
Binder: Cuban
Filler: Cuban:
Size: 5.375 x 52
Strength: Medium
Price: $25.00-$35.00
My cigar received 4-1/2 years of box aging and several months of naked humi time.
Rated 93 by Cigar Aficionado in 2021 and 2022. A katman rating? It’s bazillion∑7a2(3).
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
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I’m doing this review cold. I have just one cigar. But nearly 5 years of aging should give it a chance at success.
PerfecDraw? This Habana cigar don’t need no stinkin’ PerfecDraw. Yes, it does. In the time it took to write this…two swooshes and I solved the problem. Schwing!
Cigar Aficionado says this cigar emits flavors of graham cracker, baking spices, cedar and raisin. I will try to repeat these items as often as possible.
The first 60 seconds of a cigar tells all. And maybe the last couple of inches cinches it or splays it like a head shot. This is an immutable fact. Every cigar smoker knows this either consciously or asleep at the wheel.
Light ‘er up. Immediate flavors of graham cracker, baking spices, cedar and raisin…and cinnamon. What do I do with the rest of my 1100 word allotment? Dunno.
I know… Curved Air always headlined big concerts…so, as is the proper pseudo rock star mentality of self-importance, the pre-requisite is playing cool music before the band goes on. One concert, violinist Darry Way got a great idea and decided that we play a 7-minute Monty Python radio sketch that was hilarious. We peeked through the curtains. Stone faced audience members. Total quiet. Not one smile, one smirk, or one guffaw. We never did that again. I lost all respect for our fans.
The cigar ain’t bad in the first 60 seconds but not great either. Tastes very much like the current playbook of using Dominican, Ecuadorian, Peruvian, Costa Rican, and Brazilian leaves. The new breed of blenders is leaving the Cuban dialogue in the dust.
Judging other people is wrong. Judging cigar manufacturers is divine.
Being exact in any field is difficult. Fortunately, not a requirement as a cigar reviewer.
I’m not getting the punch in the face I believe I should get from a nicely aged $30 cigar.
Bland and only mild in strength. I’ve had more exiting enemas.
Lampert, IGM, Warped, El Septimo, Casdagli, Davidoff, Freud, Byron, Meerapfel, Aging Room, and Plasencia. Throw a dart.
1” burned. A very long 25 minutes. Wow. C’mon baby, do something.
My first lesson. I sat across from icon Carol Kaye. She told me to play something. I did. I wasn’t ashamed afterwards. Then she played something. My jaw dropped. How could a chick play bass like this? It was 1968.
The cigar is spicy. The flavor profile is delicate but minimal. My pancreas screams in defiance. Gimme some godamm lovin’!
The burn is terrible. My left leg won’t dance.
I told the Skipper happy birthday as we left. He graciously thanked me. As we walked, Butch told me it was the anniversary of his La Cienega restaurant, not his birthday. Du-oh! On the upside, I got to see Jethro (Max Baer) in his ‘I’m Elvis’ attire. That wasn’t weird at all.
Creamy, spicy, lots of cinnamon, dried fruit, baked cedar, toasted ferret, and graham cracker. I swear I’ve mentioned this.
Maybe it needs another 5 years of humidor time. Personally, that’s a roll of the dice for me. If I’m still upright, the feasibility of me still writing reviews is minimal.
The second half is much better. The sweet spot arrives. Or more aptly put, the cigar arrives at the place it should have been an hour ago. A conundrum.
Grandpa Munster. He yelled at me in Art’s Delicatessen on Ventura Blvd in Studio City. He told me not to whine. And then said maybe I didn’t belong in show biz. He was right.
The flavor profile doesn’t change. The richness increases. And there is some complexity. But mostly, this is wishful thinking. Cubans are wildly inconsistent.
Cubans have a certain mystique among non-cigar smokers. They are like every other blend on the market…sometimes they’re great and sometimes not so much. Save your dough.
Instead of paying $30 for your next Cuban, try the IGM Frog with Costa Rican and Cuban guts. Only $5.
RATING: 85
Not only is Kelsey Plum, an All-Star guard for the Las Vegas Aces, showing the new release of her Kelsey Plum Signature Cigar, it’s clear she has never given a blow job…and this pic shows she doesn’t pretend to know how. My peenie shrinks at the sight of those teeth! Instead of paying $17.50 for her new cigar, put it towards a decent street BJ.
Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS