Wrapper: Ecuadorian Habano Oscuro
Binder: Nicaraguan
Filler: Dominican, Nicaraguan
Size: 6 x 50 Toro
Strength: Medium/Full
Price: $25.00
My cigars received two months of naked humidor time.
Rolled by a singular torcedor at the El Titan de Bronze factory in Miami.
1500 boxes of 10 cigars released.
THE WHOLE MEGILLAH:
Plugged like my Aunt Mathilda after 3 rounds of Passover gefilte fish and 2 rounds of kreplach and matzoh ball soup. My PerfecDraw throws its kippah on the sideboard, tripping on its payot, but regaining its balance by twirling like a Nebraska spinner. I thrust, circumcised pointy thing first, into the punched cap of my cigar…and whoosh…an exhausting saga later, a perfect airhole! Which is what you’re calling me right now.
I taste foamy root beer, stinky cheese, spicy horseradish, and the blackest of black pepper. No shit. That’s what I taste.
It’s also a stinky smelling cigar. Notice how some burning leaves smell sweet while others not so much? As a certified botanist and certifiable congresswoman in training, I can answer that. The reason for this is that there is too much paraquat in the Nicaraguan soil left over from the Contras, in conjunction with the Marxist Sandinista Jungadungas (during the regime of Anastasio Somoza) poisoning weed in the 1970’s. That’s a fact, Jack. Google it.
The cigar.
Edgy. Brash. Buckaroo Bonzai. Strength was medium/full to start. I should have begun with that. Notes of fried almonds. Really spicy. Not so much black pepper. The tip of my tongue is on fire. This means red pepper.
It’s a real conundrum. This is a highly limited release. So, we made guys want to let you know if this is something you should jump on. Well, we reserve list hacks want the best for you…I don’t know about the professional reviewers…they live different lives. Playboy bunnies, unending amounts of Cuervo, all you can eat spaghetti, and the best tips on the race in the third. What was I saying…a heads up, that’s it. That’s all I’m saying. So yeah…reviewing a cigar only two months in could be totally misleading. Why do I do this…I don’t know. Some deep-seated insecurity screaming for attention…yeah, that’s it. That, and Oliver North has a gun to my head telling me I must get the word out.
I bought some HVC 500 Years a few months ago. Rave reviews. Me, not so much. A Nic puro with loads of different origin leaves. In the end, not worth a review. Thankfully, only an $11 stick.
The cigar.
Wait, in case you were wondering, and I know you aren’t, I’m listening to Sinatra. Sometimes you just gotta swing when you smoke a great stogie while you sit with a fine looking broad and know you got the world on a string. I get no kick from cocaine. (Snare flam!).
The cigar.
JC tells me (the other JC) his blends are ready to smoke at 3-4 months of naked humi time. I agree. Pretty good rule of thumb.
I taste the blender’s intent. I like it. But this cigar won’t be ready to tell its true story for at least another 6 months of sleepy bye time. By then, a good chance the 15,000 cigars will be gone. And no one will be interested in reviewing it or reading about it. Smokers don’t like to see a rave review of a cigar they can’t purchase. A fact, Jack.
Why is the sound of a walking bassline so appealing?
And the blend kicks in. We have lift off. Alrighty then…it took a couple inches. This is the trip wire telling me this cigar will be great with the aforementioned humidor time.
Need to switch to the Santana station. Oy vay como va. Sinatra ballads are good for screwing but not so much for smoking and writing.
The second half is much better and lifts my spirits. Flavors. Rusty cinnamon, creamy lager, black and red pepper, toasty graham cracker, bitter cocoa, strong chicory coffee, extra spicy nutmeg, and orange peel. Very nice. Very unique.
This is my fourth stab. This one, of course, has burn issues. The others didn’t.
Don’t crowd your cigars. The death knell. I am guilty of it because I’m a schlub. I see something and I must have it. I throw sticks in like freshly cut cords of wood. Buy more humidors. This is what I do. Go to Cigar Page. I buy my humidors from them because they have affordable deals. I’d be telling you this even if they weren’t paying me thousands and thousands of dollars every month. Don’t crowd your cigars.
Where do you put your Kleenex box? Never a good place. Pain in the ass.
I don’t know why I write like this. Must be an age thing.
There is a splendid richness. But nothing is subtle. Very much an in-your-face kind of smoke. Kyle Gellis is good at what he does. Andrew at SBC works well with the man and gets some great blends out of their partnership. Andrew works with several blenders and always hits the mark. But Kyle is not a consistent blender. He can bring outstanding cigars to market while also dumping duds. Still, I love to try his new stuff. Gives me something to whine about.
The citrus load becomes extreme. In a good way. Certainly, not a linear cigar blend. Something always around the corner. The balance leans heavily towards the savory. Not a smooth blend. Rode hard and put away rough. But no nicotine poisoning. Again, time will tell.
The last two inches see full tilt strength.
I bought a 10-count box because Warped’s history is mostly good. I will let the rest of my cigars sleep and revisit in 6 months. Is this blend worth a fiver? Hell, yes. If you have Dr. Rod’s dough, snag a box.
Warped cigars that pleased me long time: Black Mango, Black Honey, The Devil’s Hands, HSC Hugo, Lirio Rojo, and Guardian of the Farm Claude Le Chien.
You can purchase this blend, and other Warped entries, from sponsors Small Batch Cigar (10% off with promo code ‘katman’), Luxury Cigar Club (15% off with promo code ‘katman’), Renegade Cigars (10% off with promo code ‘katman’), Habana Port Cigar Merchants (10% off with promo code KAT24), and Cigar Page.
RATING: 95
Categories: CIGAR REVIEWS